6 Recipes To Try With Your Surplus Toilet Paper

Hey there, stockpiled too much toilet paper in your suburban home and not sure what to do with it?

Give these fun recipes a try!

Take regular tea power and wrap it up! The thinner the ply, the stronger your tea. I’d recommend Scott toilet paper for this and absolutely not for your butt.

What you’ll need: meat, white onions, cilantro, Charmin Ultra Strong Mega roll, oh and some strong Tequila to chase with after each bite.

Also make sure there’s enough TP to use after due to potential excessive diarrhea.

America is under a national emergency so instead of leaving the comfort of your home, why not toss in bits of ComfortPlus™ Toilet Paper to kick things up a notch with your soup??

PLUS you can spell out the stuff that you can no longer say to your roommate/SO/fam member like “FUCK” “FUCK THIS” and “FUCK ME”

Ok LOOK once the hand sanitizer and Dial hand soap runs out, you’re gonna have to start washing hands with DISH SOAP. Don’t waste your soap on plates! Instead, use your toilet paper as a plate! Perfect to hold everything. We recommend Angel Soft because TREAT YO’ SELF GURL!

Hundreds and thousands of cases of Corona virus being reported and what…you’re gonna leave your house!!??? For a GROCERY RUN?? FUCK. THAT. EAT THE TOILET PAPER. JUST EAT IT. YOU THINK YOU’RE ABOVE THAT YOU PRIVILEGED LITTLE BITCH? THIS IS KARMA! FOR ALL THOSE YELP REVIEWS YOU WROTE WHEN THE SERVER MIXED UP YOUR DIET COKE WITH COKE. OR WHEN U TWEETED ABOUT TORTILLAS ON CINCO DE MAYO. EAT THE MOTHERF*CKING TOILET PAPER AND SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!!!!!!!

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