Full Circles

Coming back to wholeness

In the absence of you,
I find myself becoming
complete, a crescent waxing
on its way to full and gleaming
like the perfectly round pearl
I thought I’d find
as a child cracking clams
under the pier at the lake,
not knowing the harm
in forcing open
what is tightly shut, searching
for something to adore

I underestimated the way
our cold years
cultivated darkness in you,
so unfeeling under the callous,
bruised black beneath the shell
I pried and I pushed
and I pulled and searched,
shining what little light
I had left on you until
you cracked and cast your shadow
And you couldn’t live
with looking like anything less
than the good man
I was willing to see
all you kept inside if only
to get a glimpse of what I found
precious in you once:

long ago,
it escaped out of you
one afternoon, reaching
for the part of me
that reached across
to touch it,
and we just knew

Each life is a sphere
surrounding the body,
and where they overlap
is the marriage of the beloved
I want to go back
to how whole I was
before I knocked on your door
and was received, most of my world
becoming enveloped in yours
I am slowly replacing the part
of myself that I gave,
setting out to return to my full value
I hope you can fill that hollow space
with more of yourself, let out
a breath to hang in the cool air
outside of you, expanding
May we both go back
to the entirety we were
when we stretched across the sky
towards each other,
just before the eclipse

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