Victory or Defeat?

nothing but a broken blade
in the bathroom sink
i tried but i couldn’t commit
what dominates my think

so close was i to carving out
that which plagues my soul
to cut away a piece of me
will never leave me whole

instead i cry tears of hurt
sitting on the floor
i should be proud i didn’t do
what i’ve done before

yet somewhere deep inside of me
blight festers and grows
i reach within to find the sin
only i could know

what i uncover to no surprise
hidden shards of pain
no way to eradicate
what i cannot name

my legs are weak arms are heavy
my eyes are swollen closed
my ego lays naked next to me
totally exposed

in the sink that broken blade
should be a victory
but clouding my eyes a tinge of red
of what will never be

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